What I thought would be the end of a quiet week turned out to be one of those days that is just meant to go bad. No, it wasn’t a total nightmare like the way it was projected. However, it was a little disappointing that despite of being careful and being wary about what to say, somehow and in someway you will still be misunderstood. It is unbelievable how “MIGHT NOT” can automatically mean “NO” to other people. And that “HOLD ON” is a phrase not everyone is willing to take. That maybe, simply giving a person some time can probably solve a question before it becomes a problem. As far as I can remember, I never had any issues taking accountability to errors from my side. If they are my mistakes, why will I let someone be responsible for it? It was and will never be my intention to mislead or provide false information to anyone – specially to a person that I worked hard to please for 6 months to gain just a fraction of her confidence. It will never give me anything in return, nor will it make me feel good as a person. What was said was not even half of what transpired on the conversation. I just couldn’t help but smile sarcastically. All the effort I invested were completely forgotten and now totally gone to waste.

All I am asking is to be given a little benefit of the doubt. For six months, I never ran away from any responsibility. I tried to remain honest and gave straight answers. Today is not an exception. This is a classic case of I-Said, She-Said and it is up to that third person to weigh everything. I might have failed to recount the story when I was asked but it will never change the fact. One of my co-worker said I have to start defending myself, that I have to speak up and say something. For what reason though? Would it be not enough that I tried to correct it but still wasn’t good? Again, I will not waste anybody’s time just to look good. Read more…

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It takes so much for me to get upset, or to even feel extreme dislike for another person because I would never want anyone to despise me the same way. But one thing that most people don’t realize is that I am also capable of getting mad. That behind the smiles and laughter, and my projected naivete, I am just but human like everybody else. I have my own limitations and I acknowledge facts that make me imperfect. And if I will list all my flaws, it will probably be twice more than anybody else’s. And I know that. I am fully aware of that. And that is the reason I imposed one rule upon myself. That is: Keeping quiet when I got nothing good to say. I’ve been doing pretty good at that… and despite of words repeatedly thrown at my face, I still try to be graceful. And no matter how I force myself to slash a come back, I can’t even say something so insulting to degrade even the most evil of all people. I couldn’t. I won’t and I never will.

There is a natural good in every person. But also, let us not forget that there is another side to everyone as well. Read more…

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Oh what, oh what am I going to write tonight? Nothing really comes to mind right now. I am just so tired I suppose. I know it was a short week but I am consciously anticipating the coming workweek as I am again scheduled to do the long hours from 6:30 to 6:00. Just the thought of it takes away all my energy. Yeah, of course the overtime pay is good but it also requires more effort and more hard work. Both I really can’t seem to promise specially I have my own personal obligations to fulfill at home like cooking for dinner, cleaning up and doing other chores. I can probably do the shift three times a week, but five days straight is not something I am looking forward to. Then again who am I to really complain? I know I cannot really say NO as I understand that I have to do this until John gets fully trained to do closing. Adding to that, David is also going on a 2-week vacation starting on the 26th of this month. So yup, we are doomed. I am afraid the schedules are going to change and I have this gut feeling that they will be scheduling me to do closing those days. I hope not. And I guess that is my main concern so I had just to mention about the schedule to Marissa and Jennifer. I want to make it clear that my regular hours start at 6 in the morning… Read more…

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So I guess this is what I will be doing now: Summary Blogging. I can’t really find free time any more to write. I feel so tried after work. And of course as soon as we get home, I also have to do some cooking, cleaning up and fixing Alyssa’s stuff for the next day. I am still online, I just cannot stay long enough to even do something. We are off today because of the Holiday so thanks God for another day of rest. I really need it… This week is a my short days. I can no longer do the long hours because I seriously am so tired. Anyways, here was my half terrific-half worst week in review. Read more…

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I haven’t blogged for so long since we started moving so I just have so many things to talk about. Not like you care about my ramblings – but since you are reading my journal, you might be curious about how I am doing. So I will be doing some random writing about things that I remember since the last time I got the chance to really sit around and blog. So here it goes…
Family first. My Mom just celebrated her 65th birthday on the 18th of June. Father’s Day was just three days after and my mom said they will be having cake to honor how great my Dad is. I am just so lucky they are my parents… the two people who I know will always love me unconditionally, lift my spirits up when I am down and will always be there for me no matter what. They provided me with great foundation and as mentors, they continue to teach me things I ought to know in life. In contrast with whatever is said about me, I am a good person because of them. I aspire big in life because of them. I dream to be someone because of them. I am what I am now because of them. I will be what I PLAN to be because of them. And if I have to say I owe someone, it is just proper for them to get all the credit. Read more…

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It was good to see Allen (my second stepson) yesterday after my Dr’s appointment. He flew back home from New York after a business trip. He actually looked great! I am very proud of how grown up and how responsible he’s become. He is working as a band manager in LA, and works form some famous bands. It is a pretty busy work but I can tell he loves it. It is what he wants to do and if he makes it big on that industry one day, I won’t be surprised. We talked for good twenty minutes. He said he will try to come visit us on the weekend. We hugged each other and what made my day was hearing him say: I love you. It was such a good feeling… Read more…

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I am blogging early today. I called-in because I woke up late and with body pains. I’ve been taking ibuprofen for the last couple of weeks and some over the counter cough medications and they’ve been working for a little bit. I think I just need time off to rest so I can replenish my energy. Jason Kory, one of our really nice patients said (that first week I was sick): “Rosalyn, I thought you are Superwoman!” Lol! I thought so too! But yeah, I am no longer hacking all over the place but I just am so tired… The last two weekends were not helpful either. We were busy running around town so I didn’t get enough time to sleep in. Next week, I am hoping that John will start doing closing. I don’t really mind pitching in every now and then but not too often. Don’t get me wrong, I love working. Its just that my situation is way far different from Dave nor John. They can stay as late as they can because they don’t have kids. Whereas I have a little one to worry about. Thanks to Rolly’s flexible schedule, we’ve been able to manage our time. On another note, we’ve moved in to our new home. We’re not settled but all of our stuff are at the garage, all in line to be placed where they’re supposed to. I might try to open some boxes after I wake up (yup, I am still planning on going back to sleep) to start the work. I want to go to Ikea tomorrow to buy some organizational stuff for the pantry and the kitchen cabinets. Rolly will be home early today so we can go to the furniture shop too. It’s been a long journey. And we managed to keep the faith alive. We made it… and I can’t thank Mama and Papa enough for all their support through the process. The only two people who never gave up and who always believed in us. And to Manong Resti for the encouragement only a person can get from a loving sibling. And to my dear Husband, I agree with you. Indeed, nothing tastes sweeter than self-redemption itself. This is NOT a wish come true. IT IS A GOAL REALIZED.

“Christmas came early for us this year. It did not come with a bow nor a fancy gift wrap, but it sure is one beautiful thing. To Mama and Papa, thank you for always standing behind us and for always believing in every decisions we make. We are in debt for all the support you have given — in all ways, shapes and forms.
“

From Fieldcrest, posted by Rosalyn Bugaoisan Alcantara on 6/08/2010 (25 items)

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Finally, weekend is here. My voice is still kinda husky and my throat is very itchy but I guess I am doing better than last week. I am completely drained after straight one week of 12-hour work schedule. I just feel so utterly worn out and needing some time off to replenish my energy. Next week should be a better one for me, and come Monday, the 31st, it will be one great three-day off. Rolly booked us a room at the new Arya Hotel in Las Vegas for the 29th, 30th and 31st but I am not really that enthusiastic knowing that the drive coming back to OC will be bad. But I know he means well. Besides, the three of us need some time away from the busy life. Read more…

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I don’t really read my spam mails but one time when I was still working in Irvine, one of my friends sent the whole group a portion of Maya Angelou’s 70th birthday interiew with Oprah. I kept it all this time because aside from it being funny, it also is about how real growing older is.

In April, Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was “exciting.”

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day…like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. Read more…

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Last week, I felt really awful. My coughing was bad and my eyes were kinda weird. I even had to wear mask at work. Everybody said I looked so tired, and yes I was. Friday came and I was almost voiceless. I wanted to call in sick but I know I can’t. I just don’t have a choice. I just have to be at work no matter what. At least I started early and not scheduled to close. Next week however is a different story. I requested to work my 8-hour shift from the 24th to 28th of May because Rolly is going on a business trip to St Louis and no one will drop off and pick up Alyssa from pre-school. My Manager proposed I will be working 6-6 and David on the other hand, will have to cover for me for those days I requested. I am fine with it… overtime works good financially I guess. I just hope I will feel much better or I will be like Deanne. She ended up missing the whole week for pushing herself too hard when all she needed was a day rest. If that happens, I will be doomed! Read more…

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