One of my American coworkers from the other department sat down beside me today. She was very funny and everybody likes her. During one of the girl's birthday party some weeks ago, we had a long conversation about me being Filipina. She thought I am cute. Lol! Now, I am not flattering myself ok. That was according to her. She said I have that exotic look and she likes that, and she described herself a plain oatmeal. And when she gets her hair done, she is like an oatmeal with strawberry. Very funny!

About that look, Lupie thought I was Mexican. And David said, I can pass the look of a Puerto Rican or a Bolivian and of course, a Hawaiian. Island Girl... yup, that's what they call me before on my first job here in the US. I basically worked with Caucasians so they were fond of me. Fun fact though, in the Philippines they don't like tanned skin. Most Filipinos think that fair skin is the better skin. Morena is not beautiful. That's why beauty companies come up with a wide range of skin whitening solutions to make the skin a little lighter. When I came to the US back in 2003, that was when I started appreciating what I have. Yes, I am tanned. And I truly love it.

On another note, Saturday and Sunday, we were so busy. After Rolly's consulting in San Juan Capistrano, we stopped by at some places. Then Sunday after church, we drove to Perris to see his friend. It was a long drive and Alyssa was getting tired. We were supposed to go to dinner in Stanton but we ended up picking ulam at the Filipino Restaurant. Good weekend though... can't wait for the next one.

Today went by so fast. I guess it was because we got super busy since Jill is out on vacation. There were tons of patients trying to make up for last week. I tried my best to keep up with David and still manage to do my stuff carefully. Last week, I did some mistakes. David would say: It's ok, you are still learning. I truly am... then again, I don't want to make that a reason when I forget things, or don't do stuff accordingly. I want to be better everyday... and I guess in order to do that, I have to really focus and analyze more.

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Today is a little better compared to the first three days of the week. It is still wet and cold, drizzling every now and then but it is not pouring. Just perfect. Tuesday I think was the worst. I volunteered to go home early. It was noon time but it was so dark. It was raining to hard and you can't even see anything on the freeway. The next day I found out from work that there was a tornado that touched down here in Orange County. It was actually a rare weather. Isn't that scary though?! This is the most rain here in California and it is a little scary. The climate change is quite extreme.

Yesterday, mother nature was still vicious. After couple of days of continuous raining, I still don't have an umbrella. I had to use my lab gown and run as fast as I can to the car. And guess what, I was even on my heels. Imagine that! But I managed. I even went to get my second dose of Hep B at the main hospital during my breaktime.

I found a video of the tornado from YouTube. Here it is:

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We took Ortega Highway coming to Rolly's consulting here in San Juan. It only took us 15 minutes from Lake Elsinore as we bypassed the congested 91 freeway. Actually, there are a lot of back roads once you get to know the area. For a long time, I thought the only way that connects the Inland Empire to OC was the freeway. Of course, I was wrong. These old highways that goes around the mountains, often called canyons remind me so much of Baguio. They offer great views of the city and if you get lucky, you pass by great lakes on places you don't expect to see one.

Best of both worlds, that's how Rolly describe this place. It's closer to the city than most people think, yet feels remote enough as if you are living on the country side. The Cleveland Mountains are majestic... a bold backdrop that accents every community on the area. It is just a natural beauty...

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Today is a better day I hope. It will never be a perfect one I know that, I just would like it to go smoothly. I am at peace now that have come to terms to whatever troubles I have. Days are dragging specially that we are looking forward to some projects we will be doing before the end of the year. I am very thankful that my Mom and Dad are a hundred percent behind us. There is a lot that they offered over the years, and yet still manage to stretch out a hand for even more. I truly am blessed.

For now, I am standing still. Not on a crossroad where I have seen myself for a long time, but on a clear path that goes forward. I've managed to continue with the journey. And though there were those times on my travel that I fell down and bruised myself, my family was always there to lift my spirits up. I cannot thank them more enough... Truly, I am blessed.

I will always look back to yesterday and stay reminded of all the factors that made me who I am right now. I will make sure to remember every detail of what was said and what was done as they fire me up to do even better. And even if my freedom caused my soul to break into pieces and my feelings crushed in instant, I remained whole in the inside. I am blessed.

For anyone who have been through the woods for a long time, withstanding the rough forest at night; the slightest glimpse of a daybreak brings hope to the heart. And I learned that when you start to accept the things you cannot change, it does not necessarily mean you are the one losing control of yourself. For it is much better to let the river take you rather than going the opposite way and having the currents break you. You will be dragged into a length you will never imagine, but the farther you go the better you will be. So on this road that is traveled by few, my only reward are the experiences I learn. Experiences that mold me and build me, continuously changing me. And for those, I truly am blessed.

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I decided to say adieu to too much carbs for a long time now. But yesterday and today, I just cannot resist the call of bread! And right now, I am having some M&M's while blogging. I am not a chocoholic, don't really like cocoa but I just have the urge to eat some. I can't even think of what to write... I keep on backspacing trying to capture any thoughts I have for the day.

Nothing changed... work is still work. The more I understand things, the more they become repetitive. It can be challenging sometimes, but I learned for a very long time that so as long as you keep your cool you will make it through out the day. Sure, I do stress out... but not from work. Maybe traffic and some other things I can't control.

Today went by quick like yesterday. When we get busy, I tend to forget about the time. David has to tell me I needed to go on my break or that I have to go to lunch. I just don't like the fact that I have to wake up early in the morning because I truly am not an early riser. I would rather be awake all night and be asleep all day. Like an owl. I hope one day I can get a schedule like that... work 12 straight in three days and be off the rest of the week. In six months... hopefully.

Ok... 'got to go. I am running our of power. I forgot to charge my laptop last night before we went to sleep. Rolly and I needed to read some paperworks together, and I watched some cartoons with Alyssa then after.

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It is good to feel appreciated at work as I really try my hardest to prove that I was worth the try. Though I was on the healthcare industry for over four years, I was merely at an office dealing with patients indirectly. As a matter of fact, my experience was more on dealing with the offices (Lawyers, Adjusters and Doctors) than with patients. Now that I was given a direct contact with them, I truly learn even more everyday. It reminds me of my Nursing internship to some hospitals in Baguio. That first time I gave a newborn a bath, first IM I gave a child, first time we were at a room where the Nurse will insert an IUD to a woman and we were encouraged to watch, my first catheter insertion to a paralyzed older man, my first day at the Psyche department in BGH, my OR hours.

Now that I go through each encounter and realize I survived each moment without any mistake whatsoever, I am pleased. Pleased that I put my best forward and tried to learn. Pleased that I was given the chance to go back to school and pursue something different. Pleased that I was given a supportive family that made sure I will make it. Moreover, thankful that I was given inspiration to fuel my dreams.

And so the first step is over. And despite the many challenges and some unavoidable events in my life, I continue to see the Beauty of Life. I will remain optimistic that in few months, I will look back and laugh at those days when I was about ready to give up. Because I almost did. And seriously, it broke me to pieces. If not for Rolly, I probably am back to the Philippines. Away. Very far away. But as Miley Cyrus' song goes, it's not how fast I will get there. It is not what's waiting on the other side. What matters most is the CLIMB. The Climb, meaning the hardships that a person has to go through. You will remember trials more than anything else in life...

And speaking of the Challenges that crossed my way, without them I will still be as naive and as gullible as I was before. And as I slowly speak out my mind, I finally am free. One thing that I learned through all these, I HAVE TO BE MYSELF. Secure my boundaries and protect my feelings. Because no one else will. I learned it the hard way, but it truly is self liberating. It may not always be acceptable to others, but I know too that so as long as I don't step on other people's toe then I am good to go. As my one of my co-workers said: It is not my responsibility to please others. And neither do I expect them to please me.

Ok... that is the longest blog so far for a very long time. Monday is almost over. Can't wait for another day... I wish time goes by twice faster.

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They say that if you have nightmares about your new job, it usually means you'll end up not liking it. Well, I never really had bad dreams about the Out Patient Lab JUST because I haven't had a good sleep a week before the beginning of the year. I was just so troubled and so worried about how many patient we will see on the coming week. Monday came and I was off balanced. My two weeks training just went off somewhere. I didn't do anything that may harm a patient though so thanks God for that, but I sure was not ready with the number of patients that came for tests and for pre-ops. Tuesday was even worst! Goodness, after the day I was just drained out. The good news: I did great. I told Dave that my goal for that day is NO MISTAKES WHATSOEVER. And I carried it out all through the day... I was proud of myself. I even got an extra hug from Jill.

Wednesday was busy as well but we managed. Thursday and today are the easy ones. We even had potlock for Ysella's 38 birthday. Rolly dropped off my Vietnamese egg rolls and I am glad they liked it. The food was great. Dave cooked some meatballs, Jill made some desserts and a cake, Zig brought drinks and chips, Lupie made this delicious enchilada, Tracy also brought her good chicken dish... and a lot more. Our lunch was a quick 30 minutes but I was able to eat to my heart's content.

So, there goes my first week for this year... I haven't had the chance to blog just because I got busy. I actually wanted to tell you a story that happened on the last day of December, 2009. I was at the bank to take out some money to pay Ate Racquel for sitting Alyssa. Before me was another older guy with an orange sweater and thick eyeglasses. He was looking at me and asked what I will be doing with my family to celebrate the new year. Just because I was tired as I just came from work, I said: Hmmm... nothing really. Stay home, I guess. He smiled and said: "Believe me, it will be a great year for you." I laughed. I hope so!

Strangers... I thank God for passersby who wish me luck. Have you heard of that song: What If God is One of Us? Really, what if? Here are some of the lyrics I still remember from that old song:

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets

Anyways, what I am just trying to say is that, I have high hopes for this year. First, I am planning to try my luck on my NCLEX after I get my credentials in May. A new environment probably in June. A new life afterwards... I am crossing my finger this will just be Our Lucky Year.

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I welcomed the New Year with a big smile on my face. Yesterday, we had a buffet brunch at the Choices in Pala. We stayed there 'till three. And today, we took Alyssa for a late lunch in OC. She loved the noodles! Here are some pics that we took.

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