Just few minutes ago (before my lunch), my Manager came and said she wants to see me for a while. All these thoughts of “What did I do?”, “Am I in trouble?”, “Uh oh, this is not good!” just flooded my mind. I cannot even leave my chair so she has to come get me the second time. When she closed her office, I wished I was not there at all… Then she started saying all these good things and I was feeling more comfortable.

She said I am personable. I treat the patients really good. She thinks I am a good addition to the team. She describes me as a happy person (which I really am, seriously), and I always have a great smile on my face. She said I am adjusting to the work environment even if I have to previous Lab experience, and that I am doing good with few mistakes considering I am new. I was just listening and I feel so pleased that I am hearing all these from her. I always try my best on everything… sometimes, I don’t get credit just because it is expected of me. For instance, whenever I win on a poster making contest when I was still at school few will say “great job”. More people would just say, “Why will she not win on the first place?” Or when I get good grades, my mom and dad will say: “Well, you really should have good grades because we don’t let you do anything and you have all the time to study.”

It is all good, I guess. The journey is still long and I have a lot of things still undone. I want to achieve higher and be more stable hopefully in the next year or two. I owe it all to those who have played and those who are still playing significant roles in my life. On top of my head, My Mom and Dad for being my foundation since the beginning. My husband Rolly and my daughter Alyssa, the inspiration behind every dream. My brother(s) for always being my allies. Ate Cita, Wendy, Eros and Chloe for always believing. Phyllis, for being so caring. Jennifer Boatman, my first manager who opened up doors for me and thinking I can do even more. Kristen, for giving me more opportunity to grow. Katherine, for giving me a chance to learn more. Other relatives and friends who continue to care. I truly am in debt.

I know I will hear words and meet more people along the way. There will always be that one or two who will either make or break me. Others will merely be passersby and some, I will always remember. They will leave impacts on my life and no matter what or how big or small it will be, it should not alter my path. Forward. Always forward, that’s where I am heading…

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I was so sure I would be able to blog last week I definitely cannot predict the future. We’ve been hit Tuesday and Wednesday. It was so bad that I felt drained after the day. Wednesday, my Manager had a talk with me about her hiring me permanently with a condition that I will do the closing time that is from 9:00 to 6:00. I was not expecting it, though I heard some people say that eventually I will. Was I happy? I’ll tell you this, I was pleased to know that they think I can do what I am supposed to. That I can handle that crazy shift. But if I can choose, I’ll probably prefer to just be a temporary as I cannot promise to stay neither will I promise to hang in there for that long just like Jill and Dave. What I can truly give is the best work I can possibly share and do what I am asked to do while I am still on that department. It is a good offer though, and I am happy I am even given the chance for it.

Thursday was Alyssa’s 2nd day at school. She was excited as usual. I am glad she’s getting used to it. I went to pick her up after work and took her to Carl’s Jr. I got her a kid’s meal (which she didn’t eat), she just love the toy.  Then came Friday. Alyssa woke up early and on our way to OC, she fell asleep. I tried to wake her up when we got to Chez. When she opened her eyes, she held on tight and begged to stay. Rolly didn’t have a choice but to take her home. I now learn my lesson… I won’t let her go back to sleep on our way to school.

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Today is Alyssa’s first day at Chez Grand’mere. Rolly and I were up already up by 4:30 in the morning and after fixing everything up I woke Alyssa at 5:15 and headed out the door. I was encouraging her to go back to sleep on the drive to OC, but she refused. I think she is a little excited and anxious because she knows we will be dropping her off to school. When we got to Chez, two kids were there and she started hanging out with them. I seriously can’t leave her. I keep talking to her giving her instructions on how to play, not run, not do this or do this instead. I am afraid she will hurt herself.

After 15 minutes of hanging out at her school, Rolly finally convinced me to leave. I was still feeling scared for her that I kept asking Rolly to give Terri (the School Director) a call. Finally, Rolly emailed me saying Alyssa is doing great and she made some friends already. I can’t wait to go see her at 3:00. I promised I will take her to the store to grab a toy or something… I am just glad that this week is a short one for her. And yeah, I also have my camera with me so I will take some pics too.

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I heard three similar questions today: 1. (Jill) How do you like your job so far?  2. (Zig) Are you feeling comfortable with what you are doing? 3. (Tracy) Do you get stressed out?

I am getting the hang of it, I think. And the tests were more like a review from Nursing school. I get to learn a lot more each day. I am getting more knowledgeable about what test goes with what diagnosis, when the patient should do it, and what are contraindications and factors that may or may not affect results.

The people I work with are great. Dave can keep his cool. Jill is very affectionate. Lupie always cracks me up. Lorely is always helpful. Tracy is a good cook. Leonard is Leonard. Lol. Lucretia has a very good voice. Sima has gorgeous grandkids. Hasina is quiet. Nancy is very nice. Ysela (from the other department but sitting next to me) is so much fun, and so as Laura. They call her sunshine (she doesn’t like it). And Zyg is German and likes chocolate. He too is nice just like everybody else. They all make work easier…

About the job itself… I honestly don’t see it as a career. By the end of this year, I will be trying my luck on the NCLEX exam. I am not sure if I am prepared, by the looks of it I know I have to do a lot more. I usually don’t underestimate myself but I know when I am capable and I know when I am just taking a chance. I tried to be prepared for everything, I went through a lot of competitions from elementary to high school. And despite of putting in my best shoe forward, sometimes I end up to be the second best. And that was heartbreaking. And there were those times too that I was rewarded for my hardwork. It sure boosted my self confidence.

Becoming a Nurse is my ultimate goal… and I know I have to jump over hurdles before becoming one. Whatever I am doing now, I want to say they are all preparations. And even if I have to go through pins and spikes, get hurt on the process, hear words along the way, come across unwanted events, I will hang in there. Sweet Revenge… yup that’s what Rolly said (referring to other stuff), I just like how those two words resonate. For now, I am just happy to meet new people and be submerged to direct health care.

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bi⋅lin⋅gual

/baɪˈlɪŋgwəl or, Can., -ˈlɪŋgyuəl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [bahy-ling-gwuhl or, Can., -ling-gyoo-uhl] Show IPA –adjective

The question is:  Should I consider Alyssa bilingual then? She speaks both Tagalog (with Ilocano) and English with equal frequency. Sure, she mixes the languages but still manages to convey what she means. Isn’t that the whole idea of learning? The process of using both in order to better understand how they complement each other. Just like Spanish-Speaker-children… speaking both English and Spanish, interchangeably. I guess the most important aspect of it is that these kids (that are being brought up into households speaking different languages) have to understand what is being said. Alyssa is bilingual. It does not matter if she only understand fraction of Tagalog and a whole lot more of English.  It does not matter if she mixes them during a conversation. That is why she is called bilingual in the first place.

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Yesterday, I was so inspired by a quote one of my friends posted on her Facebook account. It says: What is good about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Isn’t that kinda deep? I don’t know how people comes with such inspiring phrases, they must be really smart. I always want to be optimistic, but there are those situations that get me still. Being human, that’s how I reason out my imperfection. I can’t be what other people wants me to be. In life, I always take seconds as they come. I sometimes get stuck to a moment but I try my hardest to get over it. For the future, I am setting a goal. Like a project that needs to be done in a span of time. It is always good to know that I have a strong foundation to fall back. By foundation, I meant to say my family. It will be just fine I know that for sure… and thankfully, the future indeed comes one day at a time.

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At the end of each work day, I sit and think about what I did right and what I did wrong. It is repetitive job, quite easy once get the hang of it. But one thing I learned for the past two weeks, there is just no room for mistakes. That only one time your did not double check your work is often the time you’ve done something stupid. I should know that by now, and yet I still seem to get carried away. I push my luck so far and at the end I get caught into thoughts of WHY? Why did I not do this? Why did I not do that? Simple mistakes, yes they are. Minor ones. But they count on your productivity for the whole day. I spend time correcting them. And I tell myself: “If only I did it right the first time.”

Nancy was all worried thinking she got me in trouble for not placing the right label on one of the specimens. How thoughtful… But seriously, I can take constructive advices. She was all so nice to tell me what I did wrong. Truly, I prefer that way than any other else. I believe if you say something the right way, it will benefit both ways. You help me help you. I help you help me. Learning is a two way road. And so far, the people I work with have been very helpful.

46 days. Yup, been here at the Lab for 46 days already. David said it is scary that I am counting the days but I do, I can’t help it. Specially when you are looking forward to something, days just become numbers. As the pass by, you cross them out. This year is becoming busy for both Rolly and I, and Alyssa’s got no clue whatsoever. Rolly is set to go to Missouri for a business trip sometime this month. I hope he schedules it before the 20th so Ate Raquel will still be here to look at the little one. Because I start at 6:30, it will just be so impossible for me to drop her off that early to her new school. After Rolly’s trip, all should go so smoothly…

Ok… getting ready to leave now. Yesterday and today were so busy. But I think it is better, it makes you forget about the time. Before I know it, it is already time to leave. ‘Will blog again tomorrow!

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We were hit hard today. Patients were coming in and out the door, some were even standing waiting to be called in. It was the busiest Monday so far since I started 6 weeks ago. I am just so glad the day is finally over. Tomorrow will be another day… I am ready for it. I just wish that days will go by faster.

Our weekend was a fun one. On Saturday, went to San Juan to pick up Rolly’s consulting check then drove around town. We also stopped by the park so Alyssa can play for a bit. I also tried to get some photos and here they are:

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Sunday morning after meeting with Mike, we took Alyssa to our favorite buffet at the Choices in Pala. We had a really good brunch. I was missing that good Asian pork hocks they always cook though… so tender and so tasty!

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