Alyssa just suddenly decided to change her name to Nikki. I don't even know how she came up with the name but it started when I wen to my physical and she was playing with Rolly. When I came out, of the hospital she has picked the Nikki from out of the blue. So, we're calling her that...

She is growing up fast. Gosh now that she talks, it is never ending. She says phrases and words I've never heard before. She would say: "I have to get a job because I'm going to get married!" At three, she amazes me. She has this wild and huge imagination. She sometimes think she's Hannah Montana with her guitar. She dresses up and would say: "I am on a fashion show." When we bought her a Happy Meal at McDonald's, she chose the Astro Boy toy. She misplaced it some days ago so now she tells us: "Astro Boy broke my heart. He flew away", the pretends to be crying. She's a drama queen...

Of course, my units in Child Psychology tells about this phase in a toddler's life. It is a part of discovering who they are as they grow older. They indeed say the darnest things! At the end, I always make sure that she knows it's ok to have a big imagination but it is always great to know the real world little by little as early as three...

Popularity: 27% [?]

It is a sullen moment. One of those rare California somber, heavy cast days when the rain just decided to fall in December. And here I am at the DMV parking lot trying to make the best of it. I wish I am in bed, all bundled up, sipping coffee and watching a movie. I'd been doing that for the past couple of nights. Perhaps, I watched all 2007 and 2008 love-story films. The best so far that I have seen was Accidental Husband (Uma Thurman and Jeffrey Dean Morgan). It is one real date movie... well, Rolly was already sleeping so it was more like a date movie for one person. Lol! He is not feeling well since Thursday. I guess it was because he's been riding his motorcycle to work early in the morning even with a below 50 temperature. Here in California,that is way too cold already! I've been to Hoffman Estates (in Chicago) twice on the winter and it was snowing. I loved it... I love the falling snowflakes. But the chill was just too much to bear.

But this weather comes few times in a year so might as well embrace it. I for one can draw analogy between Weather and Life. When I was in college, I wrote an essay for my Humanities under Miss Jimenez and I still remember because she gave me 97 for it. I wrote:

Life. It is like the turning of the seasons. Winter is the coldest of all. Everybody goes through the lowest point in life. And no matter what it is, it might lead to a devastating loss or could also lead us to having a significant faith. And if we go on to believing in another chance, Spring means go forward. It
becomes the period of activity. Just like the plants, you start growing your dreams. Adapting, building up your foundation, learning and bulking up... Getting ready for what's to come next. Summer is the season of joy. The time to celebrate, the time to reap. The moment of realizing what you have been dreaming of. And comes Autumn... the time of rest. The calmest of all the seasons when all you hear are the leaves falling. And you sit and watch the beauty of it all. Acknowledging that without the Winter, Spring and Summer, there will never be Fall...

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I am not a big Miley Cyrus fan because I seriously think she is overrated. But her The Climb song hit me on the spot. It is just the perfect song for me (for now)...

I can almost see it That dream I’m dreaming but There’s a voice inside my head sayin, You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking, Every move I make feels Lost with no direction. My faith is shaking but I Got to keep trying. Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain. I’m always going to want to make it move. Always going to be an uphill battle, Sometimes I’m going to have to lose... Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side... It’s the climb!

The struggles I’m facing, The chances I’m taking Sometimes they might knock me down but NO I’m not breaking! I may not know it, But these are the moments that I’m going to remember most yeah...
Just got to keep going. And I, I got to be strong. Just keep pushing on, cause

There’s always going to be another mountain. I’m always going to want to make it move. Always going to be an uphill battle, Sometimes I’m going to have to lose... Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side... It’s the climb!

There’s always going to be another mountain. I’m always going to want to make it move. Always going to be an uphill battle, Sometimes I’m going to have to lose... Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side... It’s the climb!

Popularity: 48% [?]

The old company I worked for in Irvine called me up today to offer me a job. If I have received the phone call some weeks ago, it would be a very easy decision on my part. VQ was my family for a long time. And I was given the chance to work with great managers and supervisors when I was there. They gave me opportunity to learn and to grow within the company... and I maintained good relationship with everybody else. I would love to go back there but there are things I have to discuss with Rolly before I make any decision.

One thing that is holding me up is a great chance to work with one of the best health care providers in Orange County. Though there are some minor issues surrounding this opportunity, I am willing to just ignore everything and go forward with it. Aside from that, I am just excited and ecstatic to start on the 14th.

What's facing me now are options. I am very thankful my efforts and hardwork at VQ are being acknowledged. Now, it is just a matter of reconsidering...

Popularity: 32% [?]

Today, I took Alyssa to the mall for a little shopping. I got her some new clothes and also a bag of building blocks. She loves them. Tomorrow, I have an appointment at the hospital and I will be taking Alyssa with me. And since it will be on the afternoon, we will be picking up Rolly from work too so he doesn't have to ride his motorcycle nor take the bus heading home... I actually miss the city that's why I always take the opportunity to drive to OC when given the chance.

Popularity: 33% [?]

At 28 and for couple of months, my learning experience is fast forward. When I see my reflection, I don't see that same naive person that I used to be. The once gullible Rosalyn seemed to have vanished away. Now, I am left with the feelings of uncertainty. I doubt the world even with the goodness that it brings. I know behind every pleasant thing that I see is the reality that is awaiting to be uncovered. Always two-faced just like a coin. Always two-sided like a story. Every situation is an iceberg, what you see above water is just a fraction of the whole thing. There is more to it than you expect.

As I reflect on my everyday existence, I realized I haven't lived my life the way some people are doing it. In a way I am at peace knowing that I have shown the best of what I've got. I have smiled and laughed my heart out, and opened up the pages of my life to friends. In the process of gaining allies, I lost my sense of security. At the back of it all, I know I was perceived to be someone needy. Needy for assistance, for help, for understanding. Needy for everything. I AM NOT THAT PERSON.

All my life, I haven't accepted favors that would make me feel better as a person. Nor did I provide aid just because I wanted something in return. And if I could, I would refuse to take in assistance just because I don't want to be in debt. That is the worst of it all, having a debt that has no specific payoff. But Rolly always know what to say: "You owe this to yourself and not anybody else" or to make things lighter he would make statement like: "You owe me because I forced you to doing it." Seriously, if he's not on my back always pushing and encouraging me, I wouldn't even give things a chance.

The bottom line, it is indeed hard to be in between a rock and a hard place. Damn if you, damn if you don't.

Popularity: 45% [?]

The 4 hour trip from Las Vegas to
California is now taking us forever to travel. We left the strip about five in the afternoon, it is already 9 in the evening and we haven't reached Barstow yet. Californians just decided to leave in the afternoon to beat the traffic thinking people left early for the day. To our dismay, it is the opposite. Gosh, this is the heaviest traffic I've ever seen. It is a parking lot... And people are getting desperate because we passed by two accidents already.

Alyssa is getting way too chatty now. Rolly likes it because she helps him stay awake. Even she cracks me up... I can't believe she is a little girl now, with so many things running on her mind. She's grown so much and she amazes us with her inquisitive remarks and curious thoughts. Sometimes I ran out of words to tell her and so I would just laugh.

Ok, now we just passed Barstow and Alyssa is now sleeping tight. We are listening to Mandy Moore. I prefer independent music most often however, I find Mandy Moore's songs very pleasant to hear. Rolly doesn't mind it too. He listens to everything so it is all good.

The 15 is just so packed... Cars running 20 mph populate this freeway as far as the eye can see. Rear lights that are unending... We are thinking: Is this madness stretching all the way to Corona? It is just horrible! But since I am always indifferent, I actually like it. I've always loved being in the road...

Popularity: 39% [?]

We had a great Thanksgiving Day feast in Stanton. Alyssa was particularly happy because she saw Bea. They even did some coloring activity together after dinner. She's missing on that... being able to play with other kids. And she was so behaved, like always. I was just afraid on how she would react if I suddenly place her to a pre-K session with me not being there. But I never doubted her socializing skills. She is such a darling and she knows just how to behave specially when there are other people around. I was so proud of her.

Right now, we are in Vegas. Yup, we drove here just for the heck of it. It is so cold and windy. My right eye is actually red and irritated, however it is not bothering me. We will be heading home early tomorrow to beat the traffic. If I have to chose, I want to stay. Though I am not a gambler, I so am in love with this city and actually welcomes the thought of living here someday if God permits.

Well, I will be blogging back again tomorrow. It is almost 1 in the morning (Sunday) and I have to make some phone calls to the Philippines...

Popularity: 34% [?]

Do you know the feeling when you are just on the edge and about ready to just throw all things out? Just leave. Just break free. Today is one of those days when I am just too tired to go on. So I sit here... blogging. Just like always. Trying to let go of all my frustrations and disappointments. The same day last year, I was just on my happiest. The day before my birthday. I had everyone I needed to celebrate another memorable year: My Mom and Dad, Rolly and Alyssa, my Brother Resti and his family and ate Cita. Just few of the people who knows me and in return, I feel comfortable to be around with.

November 25... that is today. Alyssa is buckled up and enjoying her afternoon nap. And here I am sitting in the car trying to escape insanity. I just don't know how to start it or how to say it better. Should I act naive and skip the worst scenario of my morning and just go forward with the good one? That's what I've been doing for forever. Right? Always trying to live the perfect life, stretching my smile even if I am actually hurting inside, screening up all the pain and selecting the best. I've been good at that... just letting words pass me by. Always thinking not to take things personally. Just to let it go, Rosalyn. Just let it go.

All these times, I come to my blog and live the "Beautiful Life". I say beautiful because despite of challenges that continuously unfold and trials that bruise me, I still manage to show a genuine smile to people I love. I still can laugh outrageously. And when I go to the lake, I still am mesmerized by its serenity. And I am thankful that on these simple things, I see life on it's positive side. And yet sometimes, you get so tired and you just can't take it anymore.

I am human (again). I am entitled to feelings and emotions myself. I hate it when I have to stand up for myself. But I will. Just because I don't expect anybody to do that on my behalf. I don't like it when I have to answer back. But I will. Because now, it is my way of shielding myself from pain. I don't enjoy building a fence around me. But I am. Because I realized how vulnerable I've become when I opened all my doors. I don't want to drift away. But I am choosing to. Because I want to move on and be so far away.

Being married... it is sweet. And yet there are those instances you cannot avoid. And as I go on, I have come to realize how wonderful my Dad is to my Mom. How wonderful my Brother(s) is(were) to my sister(s)-in-law. Their state of marriage is my definition of marital relationship. I have to be very honest and say mine is a little bit challenged not by a ceasing love and adoration, but by something of a lesser relevance yet with such impact. I am finding myself on a daily battle and it is not my desire to break any bond. As I have said I escaped way so many times that if I have to do it again, I will. But I would no longer compromise my feelings. The matter I have to ponder now is that: Should I take in a favor and be in debt for the rest of my life?

Popularity: 31% [?]

Christmas is just few weeks ahead and you are most probably one of the thousands who haven't decided what to get as a gift. Not only for your loved ones, but also for yourself. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. There are a lot of options to choose from but the best ones can be very expensive. Right? But what if I tell you that most people actually are more thankful if they get something personal in nature. Something that is different from the others. Something that is really theirs.

Customized stuff gifts are what is in! From customized shoes, bags, accessories, electronic gears and yes, even cosmetics! At MilkOSugar.com, you can create personalized products that your parents, spouses, girlfriends or boyfriends and children would love to have! But make sure to do it now because depending on what you want to order, it normally takes couple of days to weeks before you get them. Well, just in time for the gift giving!

Popularity: 32% [?]